Boredom kills

There are two things I want to do: I want to cry in front of you, spank your chest until I lose all my strength and — admit that I am tired. I would not like to think that I’m one of those teleserye princesses I watch every night.

I am not tired of loving you. I am tired of what is happening to our relationship. But I don’t say I quit. More than just the superficial – I have faith with you and to us.

The second thing is, to fix this. It is not me who will do the fixing but we will. Do not pretend that things are okay when they are not. There are room for good, better and best, but where are we? We are just okay. And it is becoming too monotonous and bland.

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According to a good friend, there are three things that can kill a relationship: “pride, insecurity and jealousy.” True. And the fourth thing would be boredom.

I have a story to tell. A husband love his wife so much that he makes breakfast for her before she goes to work. He cooks fried rice, a couple of hotdogs and an egg (with an effort of molding it into a heart-shape). The wife appreciated her husband’s effort; She ate it regardless of the fried rice tasted very salty, and the egg was shaped unsuccessfully into a triangle. The next morning, breakfast was served better than yesterday. Days passed by that it became his routine to cook fried rice, hotdogs and a heart-shaped, sunny side up egg. He even perfected it after several weeks. Her wife, grateful for the service that her husband makes, never fails to say sweet words like thank you and I love you to him.

One morning, he served breakfast again. The husband noticed that her wife was not eating the food. He then asked if he missed something.

The wife answered, “None. It is perfect. You did great and I appreciate that you wake up as early as 4 am to cook for my breakfast.”

The husband replied, “Then, what’s wrong?”

“Don’t you notice you have been doing it for 8 weeks already? The wife said.

The husband said, “I am doing it because that’s how much I love you.”

“I do not question your love for me. I have always known that but my taste buds are complaining” the wife replied.

Sometimes, I am deceived by a thought of ending it up, especially when I’m on the brink of my emotions. In spite of that, I believe that surrender is not an option – unless you have tried all the interventions that could possibly revive the relationship. Mind you, martyr is a lot different from this. I am not pushing myself to suffer but I wait for the “change” patiently, that is worth the time and effort involved.

Neither I am not asking you to love me more nor give me the best of the world. Love me the way you want to love me and GROW with me.

~ by ickaissimo on March 12, 2009.