Battling with fate
Too often, the thing you want most is one thing you can’t have. It’s hard to argue about that phrase. Especially when you’re in a situation dying to have that thing but fate, which turns out ruthless and narrow-minded won’t allow you.
Before 2007 had ended, I made some closure regarding on what I want to accomplish – “that thing” – consumes the WHOLE part.
This is the dream – to be a fashion designer. The color pencils, draft pad, colors and combinations fascinate me, sketching out ideas, Vera Wang - I just love that. In the sense that it’s not one hell of a past time but a passion.
Not everyone knows that, little did my parents know care about, only two earthlings – Emman and a closest friend. But now that you’re wasting time reading this non-sense melodramatic affirmation, welcome to my secret open window.
Here’s a thing. It’s either I make it happen or I make it happen.
I don’t wanna say no.
I’m aware that the load is twice heavier (the two letters attached to my name made it but it’s not MD. haha.) 20 pages are left on the book I’m reviewing and a few months next, when the eligibility for examination has arrived, I’ll be taking up my formal review. Actually, it’s what most of nursing graduates would want to, fulfilling their dreams of being a licensee to other state. That’s why I feel I’m blessed that my parents still sustain that this career is right for me– and my reason goes with here that I cannot make my way to back out. After all, this is THEIR dream for me.
BUT I can never say NO to that “thing” slash “dream”. That’s what I hear myself saying.
I know it will be tougher but fate isn’t just something neither to be waited for nor to accept what comes for a day but IT’S SOMETHING TO BE ACHIEVED.
Photo by chriz
For me – It’s not a stage in which someone has a role to play but it’s a battlefield.
You are expected to win and make everybody proud of you.
But sometimes I wish I would be in a different battlefield, to give out my best not for other people but for the self.
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