Serious Matters
Like everybody else around me, they’re up to making plans for themselves. I noticed how they get so serious in preparation for the forthcoming graduation. Several talks about the start of reviewing lessons until all end up to future plans. Some are undecided if they’ll take the board exams this June or rest for a few months to be more prepared by the end of the year. Several are chewing over what to do after they passed the exams whether they’ll work here or leave the country for good. I guess I envy them for having those plans in their mind because I’m having a hard time making mine. For me, making plan is not about literally making it… but making it happen also. Not just about the plan… but more of a dream. I have my own dreams. My foundation is determination. And I’m still constructing its walls made up of passion, time and courage. My emotions helped me in investing with it. But I know I have to somehow stop it from having too much involvement especially now that I have to consider my partner’s decision. Of course, he has his own plans for himself. And we’ve got plans for our relationship. But these plans are still undecided or let’s say we’re open for consideration but because there’s a lot of thinking about these stuffs that sometimes I don’t want to talk about it because I’m not sure with my answers… I’m not sure what will happen to me… and to us.
Yes, it’s early to make plans for us because we’re new in this relationship but the pressure continues to intensify. And again, it’s about the review, the near to end of college life, the graduation, our parent’s expectations and our future plans. The thing is I’m having a hard time making it all in a realistic view for me. I have plenty of plans in the back of my mind but I don’t know how or what to consider first. But what makes these undecided ideas complicated is I’m still trapped in a house wherein my dream is always disregarded because someone gets to decide for my future.
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